Lets forget the negatives!

Dunno y...

Friday, November 30, 2007 ( 2:39 AM )

Dunno y...

Think my body's clock spoiled...

Got insomnia at night,hard to fall asleep...

I fall asleep easily in the day time,especially during bus journey n during lecture...=/

I dun like this way...

Haiz...

Recently,I missed another lecture again,it's RFA lecture again,because I oversleep...

Rmb telling u all that I missed 2 lectures for the past,now add on the 3rd one...

First time was INFA(Intro to Financial Accounting)
Second time was RFA(Regulatory Framework of Accounting)
Third time also RFA...

Haiz...

Y y y?
Too tired me?
--Excuse bah?=X

I dunno me...
Haiz...
I hope I can pass all modules ah...

Common test coming soon...

My first paper will be on the 8Dec,Sat,8.30am-10am...

Tmr still gt Xtomic performance practice,will be reflector for the song "Last Christmas" and performer for "Perfect Christmas"...

Really wanna say sorry to SweeTeng,cos I kinda snatched her role in the "Perfect Christmas",and she'll not be performing for this song...=(

I already told her nvm,I can dun perform de...
Haiz,but she say I muz at least gt perform in one song...=/

Sorry SweeTeng...=(

Anw,the performance will fall on the 1 Dec,23 Dec & 30 Dec...
Still gt other performance invitation by Passion Synergy,Rotaract club...

Haha...I guess I am not joining all bah...=X
Haha...

K,I try to make myself to fall asleep now...=X

Jya,bye everyone!=)

Take Care!

=Jac=

Hard to say sorry?

Wednesday, November 28, 2007 ( 12:09 AM )

Hard to say sorry?

My dad tok me first,I had proven to him,without him,I lived better...
For a week,nvr tok to him once.

He tok to me recently.
Trying to pretend huh?
He still owes me a "sorry".
Not that I feel tt I am rite,but I feels tt he shld apologize for tt slap.

Responsible for own action.
Haha,I can dun tok to him,but he cant...
These few days,I tok to him like say only 5 sentences?
Haha,maybe less than tt.

K,I gonna edit the FMGT proj thingy...

Take Care!
Nitez!=)

=Jac=

Targets...

Tuesday, November 27, 2007 ( 1:48 AM )

I dun like shopping...

Nvr shopping for very long le,everytime when I bought something new,most likely is when I am on my way to work,den juz nice saw what I've planned to buy...

Always in a rush to buy the things,I nvr check the things I've bought clearly,usually take n pay...
I only shop when I need to replenish my stuffs or necessities bah...

Targets...

1) New laptop bag

2) Gatsby Wax--Purple/Grey colour preferred cos it suits my bro n my hair's length...=X

3) New handphone pouch

4) New watch--Old one spoiled

5) Jeans

6) Clothing--T-shirts,Long-sleeves shirt...etc

7) Covered shoe--Sneakers(Hmm,Converse size 6...Haha...But wun buy Converse cos VERY
EX...)

8) A sling bag--Dun like white or girlish colours(pink...etc)

9) Pants??? -- 3/4 pants bah...For normal home wear...

10) ??? Dunno,haven thought of yet

The above are wat I need/want to buy de...
Looks like I need to save up a bit lo...

Targets--(Non-Shopping)

***Muz starts to slim down le,really...(Gained a total of 10Kg since Sec 4 till now!!! =X)
***Muz starts to study le...=(
~I muz admit I had not been doing tutorials,for every weeks...=X

*Sian,need to spend some money on medical bills also when I see doctor in Dec...
Haiz...

I am too fat n lazy le...=(
Bye,I go slp le...

Finally can slp this early le,always slp at ard 4am,5am...
Now finally can slp more than 2hrs these few days...

Take Care everyone!=)

=Jac=

Feel like posting...

Sunday, November 25, 2007 ( 3:08 AM )

Feel like posting after doing half way of my FMGT ppt slides...

Suddenly kinda emo le...

Pls bear with me...

Y am I so stupid?
Y am I so rude?
Y am I so attitude(some times)?
Y am I cant change all my bad habits?
Y am I cant control my temper(Turning from bad to worse)?
Y am I so incapable?
Y am I so inefficient?
Y am I so ineffective?
Y am I so idiot?
Y am I became more n more stupid?

With the grades I am holding,I cant go anywhere,wat am I suppose to do in the future?
I am lagging behind,how?
Anyone can teach me?
Where is my future?--Graveyard that is.

PSLE T-Score=232
O Level=VERY BAD
Poly GPA=For the past 3 sem,none passed 3.0,and it's decreasing DRASTICALLY too!!!

Save me,anyone?

I cant stop myself from crying on my own stupidity and laziness,I dunno wat to do,I am a gone case,good-for-nothing.

Save me,anyone?

I wan to go Uni,but I know now tt it's a mission impossible.
I dunno y,I am so lazy,reluctant to study.
I cant push myself to move on,tell me wat to do,anyone?

I am tired,really tired,some times I wonder,or shld I say most of the time,I am using "busy working to support myself" as an excuse to excuse myself.
I dun wan it this way.

Wat am I suppose to do???

I really wan to further studies de,help me anyone?

I dun wan to disgrace them,dun wan to disappoint them.
I'm the one making the decision,I'm the one to be responsible.

Help me,anyone?

Who can tuition me?

I know I cant make it already,already 2nd yr,2nd sem,gg I shall say.
Sayonara...

=Jac=

Finally have hair cut...

Saturday, November 24, 2007 ( 11:25 PM )

Finally have hair cut...

Yay...$4 nia...=)

Not bad lah,this time rd I nvr ask her to cut till very short,haha...=)

K lah,I got to go chiong FMGT proj le...=/
Tmr work at Simei,East point...

Cya,take care everyone! =)

=Jac=

Jia you...

Friday, November 23, 2007 ( 12:33 AM )

Jia you.

Haha...Sometimes, self-motivation really helps...
Recently due to RED Camp,I also become high sia...
Getting more n more lame... =X

Wanna apologize to Jasmine cos I keep "souring" her when we both partner up to teach sign language class 2D...=s

Haha...
I like the stunning look I got from the class and the laughter they broke into after that,when I do the "haha...so funny" clap...=X

K lah,I go do proj powerpoint slides lo...
I am fine,thks everyone!!!

Jia you.
Take care everyone...=)

=Jac=

Everything's fine...

Tuesday, November 20, 2007 ( 11:21 PM )

Everything's fine...

OMG...

Now den realise tt so many ppl still concern abt me...
Touched...

I only wan to say,I am really fine.
Really.

Dunno y,instead of sad,I am as usual,LAME and I think I am funny...=X
Den ok lah,now I c my dad,I treat I nvr c anyone,he nvr tok to me,I oso nvr tok to him.
Actually it doesnt affect me.

Haha...

Now den really c that I can really live on my own w/o my dad...=)
Kinda happy actually.
Dunno y,really instead of sad,I am kinda tired,but glad in some ways...

Take Care everyone,I am really fine...=)
Chionging projects lo...

Cya!=)

=Jac=

I hate November.I dun really care.

( 1:01 AM )

I hate November.I dun really care.

I juz now juz fought with my dad,and now we are no longer father and daughter.

It all happened juz a while ago(19 Nov,ard 2350):

He was drunk and when he reached home,he was picking his clothes to go bath lah.
He took a pair of pant tt looks like mine.
He said tt he last tym accidentally took the wrong pant and wear lah and after realised tt he gt the wrong pant,he put on the sofa in the living room lo.(Cos my mum packed it into his wardrobe,he juz take n wear,den realised tt it's not his...)

Den I say he's being dirty cos he nvr wash tt pant and place it on the sofa...
I pointed to tt pants(supposingly was juz taken down from the bamboo poles) and say it's dirty,ask my mum to wash again...(I din noe it was juz taken down from the bamboo poles)

Den my dad,cos he was drunk lah,den he became very frustrated.
He said wat I nvr c him as father,wat he wear before I cant wear meh,he also said that I tok very loudly to ans him,nvr respect...etc
I merely said,"cos of hygiene prob wat..."

Den he gave me a tight slap.
It hurts.

Den he pulled my hair also(C,I hate long hair,cos I no time to cut recently,if not,I wun have such long hair de lo),it really hurts.

Den upon seeing this,my mum dun dare to do anything lah,basically she couldnt do anything.
My brother asked him not to fight lo,he turned to my brother and challenged him,wanted to slap him also.
My brother was no longer the weak brother I know,he held on to him and asked him to stop.
My brother did not had a fight on my father,jus trying to hold him down.

My father became more violent!
He not only insists of slapping my brother,saying wat,"I am ur father,cant slap u meh? I cant beat u ah?"(In a very angry and loud voice)

My brother keep replying,"Can,I nvr say u cant...etc"
But my dad insists on hitting him,but he couldnt reach my brother,den he continue to say,"you tot I cant reach to hit u is it? (Cos my brother is really much taller than my father)"

Den I think my brother let go of his hands,den he starts to take the wooden stool and wanna hit onto my brother,my brother keep defence for himself,he did not had the intention to fight my father,he did not want to hurt himself too...

I stood up from the sofa and shouted at him,asked him to stop.
He turned to me saying,"none of his biz,he wan to fight me,I fight back lah...etc"
I replied,"He nvr wanted to fight u lah,he's protecting himself,anyone like u bringing the wooden stool throwing to ppl,that person will also defence de lo...etc"

I dunno wat happen,I juz said,"It has nothing to do with him,my fault rite,wan to beat,beat me k?"
He pulled my hair again,den he said,"As ur father,I give u eat...etc I gt wrong meh...etc"
I said,"No...etc"
Den he said,"y u all nvr give me face,always wan to tok back leh?"
I said,"Unreasonable things,of cos muz say out wat."
Dad,"I gt say wrong meh? Y cant u juz respect me...etc"
Me,"Watever you said may be usable at ur generation,u can hit ppl with parang in the past,now u cant,u c or not? Now is gt law one leh,u can anyhow bring parang and chop ppl one meh?...etc"

Den dunno how,he linked to,"you think very good is it,ask u to slp early you dun wan,keep staying up...etc"
I say I gt proj wat and also I reached home late due to work...
He say dunno wat,I forgt le.
I only rmb I replied him with,"...cos you cannot support me,I had to work and study at the same time,you think I not tired ah? You think I like it this way ah? You think I dun wan to slp ah? I need to pay for everything,transport,food,internet broadband...etc"

He said,"Good,you can support urself,den in future dun ask me for help...etc"
In my heart: I nvr ask for ur help b4 since Kindergarten lo(Other than taking pocket money from my mum when I still cant support myself(Primary 1 till Secondary 4),and most of the time,I saved up my pocket money and u took it back lo,all my scholarship,bursary awards all belongs to u,for u to gamble...)

I replied,"Fine."
Now my concern is tt my brother also kana his reprimand,and he asked my mum not to give my brother allowances...
I am sorry my brother.

I cried of cos,cos it is pain and it was more pain when I speak up for myself tt I am really tired to support myself...

Nvm,w/o him,I think I can be better,I will prove to him.
*In the course of dialogue with my father,he also say it's my own fault to cause myself to be so tired,he doesnt feel tt he is wrong or anything,not even pity...
He say who ask me to choose NP,so far,serve myself rite this kind of stuffs...

Well,one more yr...

In the past I had already been looking forward to after getting the diploma n move out of this place le...

One more yr,hope I can pull thru...

K lah,I now already stopped my tears,going to do proj...
Now then I realised that how neutral I can be actually to know we are no longer dad n daughter...

Take care everyone.
Cya.

=Jac=

Bad Temper...

Sunday, November 18, 2007 ( 12:23 AM )

I muz admit tt I am very impatient,having bad temper,kinda str in toking,like sour ppl,n bascially I am an idiot.

K,first,I wan to apologize to everyone whom I had offended,in the past,present or maybe future.

Not trying to find excuse for myself,I noe my untolerated bad habits which usually hurts ppl ard me...=X

I have been lack of slp,basically everyday since sec sch...
Memory going from bad to worse,so does my health.
Shant say more.

I slp average of 4-6hrs daily.
And recently becos of work,cca and proj,I only managed to slp 1-2hrs.
I am really sorry to everyone if I had hurt u all.
Really sorry.

Sorry for being so inefficient in my proj,I wan to apologize to my grpmates.
Sorry for being so rude to many ppl if I did.
Sorry everyone.

=Jac=

Update

Saturday, November 17, 2007 ( 11:25 PM )

Update on recent activities...

Been working and schooling as usual...

News 1: No longer have to teach Chinese Tuition le,though the other party nvr say de reason,but I think I know le,cos his son din pass his Chinese...

News 2: I've bought a formal shirt,but the sleeves kinda long to me...=X

News 3: I've bought a pair of jeans,cos most of the jeans are torn(the heel part),or the zips gt prob de...
*Cheap stuff,some times quality may differ from a big range,depending on ur luck,and I think I'm lack of luck...=X
*Bought the abouve stuff when I'm on my way to work,nvr reply check,juz c,take,pay,go...=X

News 4: 2nd time missed my lesson.I nvr pon any lesson before except for these 2,1 happened when I'm yr 1,and recently the 2nd time occurred...=/ (Both time I missed the lesson cos I oversleep and by the time I gt sch,the lesson is over...Bad point for living far from sch...=/)

News 5: I drank the plain water at Bengawan's pantry,after I drank the first cup,going on to the second,I realised tt the water inside like got white particles,OMG,I immediately spilt it out,but as for the first cup,it's in my stomach liao...=/

News 6: Conducted first HI! Club Basic B Class 2D's lesson...Though kinda messy,but I think still ok,however,hope those not relevant de ppl can dun kaypo join in,den dun keep walk in n out the classroom lo...=X

News 7: I realised that to study in NP,I really meet many very nice ppl,very nice friend,really dunno wat to say as compared to my sec sch life...

Den I realise that I really HATE ppl for not replying sms/msn/call or dun pick up call de...
Really lo...

*Why?
--Cos WS sms-ed me to ask me to contact ZJ for his friend's hp number.
--> If ZJ dun wan to give her the number,can at least reply me/her(cos I gt give him her number)...
--> She gt sms me again saying that ZJ nvr reply her nor give her the number,but I working sia,being the messenger,I really bu shuang.
-->Den I bo bian,immediately call ZJ,he nvr pick up call.
-->Sian,I really gt nothing to say,carrying hp for nothing,n nvr even reply after a day or so...
-->He also nvr reply msn,put "online" for show,nvr close conversation den offline de,thus,kana blocked by me on msn.

K lah,recently really happened a lot of things,serving many kind of ppl,many very annoying and "yim jim" de ctm this month,dunno y,den also got other personal things to settle,wat the hell,I dun like Nov.
A word to describe this Nov(Really not my month)--Suay

K lah,I juz gt home,gt to bath le,bye everyone! =)
Take Care!

*Wish all Nov babies a happy birthday! (I got really MANY friends' birthday falls on Nov!)

=Jac=

I wan to cut my hair...

Thursday, November 15, 2007 ( 12:05 AM )

Can I have more time like say 25hrs per day?

I wan to go have hair cut...
I wan to buy formal wear for presentation...
I wan to buy jeans,t-shirts and shoes...
I wan to buy watch,a special designed one,with stainless-steel's stripe...

No time...

I wan to get everything(Proj,Assignments,Tutorials,Works...etc) done nicely nicely de leh,but I no time to do...

Haiz...

==================================================

Some times wondering y go NP,it's the furthest poly from my hse,bus journey needs ard 2hrs,MRT+Bus takes me 1.5hrs to get to sch...

The waiting time for the buses really kills...
The "net bus journey" is actually 1hr & 15 min for me to travel to sch,however,the traffic jam and the waiting of the buses arrival really took another 45min to 1hr or more...=/

MRT nvr str go to NP,still need to change to bus,den expenditure wud be higher,tt's y I nvr take MRT,unless I am really going to late or raining badly in the morning...

I am thinking if I total up all the time I've wasted on waiting and travelling,I actually got more time than nvr de lo...

Haiz,wat to do,serve me rite,who ask me to put Np-Acc First choice some more...=/

K lah,need to chiong FMGT's Cash Budget thingy n ppt... and also EAA...etc
Sian de lo!!!

Next week need to present EAA,need to hand up FMGT's proj and present week after next!!!

Jya,take care everyone!
Sayonara!=)

=Jac=

K Box 2

Sunday, November 11, 2007 ( 12:53 AM )

Went to K Box today(10Nov)...

This is the second time I went to K box...

This time round sang more songs,haha,think better than last time...
But this time round like I gt sing till off key...
I went to K box on 10Nov,to celebrate Carl's birthday and also cos wanted to sing song lah...

Haha...

Total of 6 person who went,KaiYun,WeiMing,JianMing,Wilson,Carl and me lo...
Haha...Fun...

Haha...
I went there after work,reached there like say 7.10pm den sing till 10pm...
Went home after tt cos I headache n oso tmr gt to work...
Still got proj n CCA stuff to do,so,ya,wanted to go home earlier...

Wish Carl happy birthday and brought JianMing his present which I owed him for like mths...
Haha...
Broke today again...
Kinda Ex to me,but luckily not every time like tt n oso not every mth is Nov...

Haha,I dun like Nov,too many frenz Nov birthday and broke broke broke...

I no longer teaching tuition this few mths cos of primary school holidays n may quit Bengawan job soon...

Many things happened yet I cant do much...
Sian...

Btw,on the journey back from the K Box(Cineleisure),took Mrt,saw 2 pairs of lesbian...

OMG! --DAMN CHIO LAH...
Both couple(the couples dunno each other de lah),one pair at my left,another on my right side,omg,both is like the butch looks style n kinda pretty if they were to be girlish,den their partner is that kind of chio gals with long hair,tall,slim...etc

Nice lo...Though their action seemed to be weird to me...
One couple is seated and which,one gal fall a slp on the butch's shoulder and the butch is like touching the gal's face n holding her hands...etc
The other pair is they hold hand lo,den gt hug the waist...etc

Haha...
But I muz say,they are chio de lo...

Haha...
Took Mrt then change to Lrt to go home,took the Lrt of the wrong direction,blur me...
Den went back to Compass Point to take the rite one...

Haha...
Now gonna play games,watch animes,watch dramas lo...
Sian,tmr still got to work at Parkway,may go to bed soon bah...

*Wear ring doesnt mean gt bf,buy new hp doesnt mean rich...

Haha...

K lah everyone,take care,nitez!
=)

=Jac=

Slack. Where am I? Lost.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007 ( 12:59 AM )

Slack. Where am I? Lost.

See ppl studying well,getting the top,I am just lagging behind.

Lost.Slack.

No motivation,no passion.

Can anyone help me find mine?
2nd yr already,wasted my time here,cos I know deeply,I din put in my best effort in learning,where are the usual me? --Lost...Since Sec sch,I still cant find the serious me.

Idiot--Refers to me.

Good & compatible word to describe someone like me.

K lah,tmr got test,I hope I can quit all my jobs,concentrating on my studies & CCAs,let me get my diploma at least?!.

*The only thing that keep constant is "changes" itself.

=Jac=

Busy Busy Busy...

Monday, November 05, 2007 ( 12:57 AM )

Busy Busy Busy...

First,I am sorry for not updating my blog entries recently cos recently really busy & TIRED...

Been having make up lessons,HI Club's Orientation's performance rehearsals,Xtomic thingy and BA Envoys' Meeting regarding RED Camp...

Reached home recently,basically after 12am,latest is 1am(HI Club Orientation tt day.)
Sad...
This week is a suay week for me...
Cancelled 2 tuition,Bengawan there I oso work only a day and din work for Anlene for this week.
Earn really less for this month...

Well...
I shall tok abt the HI Club orientation,it's fun,great and I finally got the chance to play with the lighting and sound for LT 26!
Cool man! ~
Haha...

That day also very angry with Acer technician.

Friday(2Nov) -Ever suay day...

Morning went for lesson,den released at ard 2pm,den rush home.
Cos the Acer technician emailed me saying that he will reach my hse ard 4-6pm,den I immediately rush hm cos I scared that I'll be late.

The moment I got home,prepare my lappy n stuff,waited for 2hrs.
He din appear.
Wat duh...
Sian

Den I heck care le,rush to take MRT instead of Bus(I got bus concession) back to sch,for HI Club Orientation,luckily I wasnt late.

Den meanwhile,I called my Bro,to c if the man show up,diao,he din!

I think at ard 6.30pm den he appear at my door step.
He did call my bro saying that he will be half an hour late,so I assume he called my bro at 6pm.

Well,fine,tt's ok,at least he did appear n service my lappy n my lappy now is healthy(I hope so).

======================================================
3Nov

Reformatted my lappy,hope it will be more healthy...
Lost all softwares and many doc...=(
Need to go back to sch to install those softwares le...T.T
======================================================
4Nov -Daring day!

I overslept today,din attend the NEA event,I am really sorry.
Especially to Huimin n Yishan they all,really sorry.
Recently becos I reached home late,I myself keep dozing off during lecture n oso cant focus myself n of very bad mood,I would like to apologize to everyone here if I ever offended you all.

Sorry.

Today I asked my cousin to help me get my laptop a cooler,cos I think the main prob my lappy is encountering is that it's cooler spoiled easily,so I get a cooler lo.
Haiz,not cheap lo.

Den I oso bought Sony Ericsson W580I!!!
White colour de,my dreamed phone!
=)

Finally got to change le...=)
I've been chiong working during the holiday to wait for this day,finally I got myself a hp,my own hp,not from others n first hand de!

=)

It cost $498(No Contract),den my bro ask me to get the 1GB memory card so can store more songs...

Den I think I too naive le,watever the salesperson says,I gong gong say ok...sian...=.=
Taught me a lesson...
I've spent a total of $610 on my tis hp.

1 GB memory card,512 MB memory card(original),hp casing,hp screen protector,a spare batt n a hp desktop charger with the phone itself...(Total=$610)

Damn Ex,and I actually bought it...
Nvm,not everytime n it is my first time buying hp...
Learnt a lesson,actually I can dun buy the spare batt,desktop charger de...

Sian...

Den some more,after I've bought,my bro n I went home,on the bus journey,we played with the hp,den realise the hp got malfunction...=/

The "walkman key" was not functioning lo,sian...

My cousin helped me buy the cooler de,den I went to his hse first,paid him the money den he heard abt the case of my hp,he fetch me there to tell the salesperson lo...

The salesperson got it changed for me,heng is today go change de,cos the man say if I go tmr,he cant change it for me and I will have to go down to Sony Ericsson Shop to get it serviced myself.

Heng...

Haha...I love my hp! =)

But I am officially broke now!!! T.T

=Jac=